异族通婚

在网上我看到一则关于异族通婚的讨论。

我发觉到，当很多异族朋友质问为何华人不接受回教之类的问题之时，华人通常都没有办法向异族朋友解释为什么。另一边厢，马来朋友们呢都会一味的宣扬他们的教义有多好就有多好，华人呢，基于不敢开罪回教及马来人，通常都会随声附和说回教是好的诸如此类的客套话，但在另一面情绪却是不满的。最糟的是，我看到有位异族朋友在那乱发歪论，就因为他说他的华人朋友告诉他的一些关于华人的看法。我的看法是，通常借 “朋友” 之名来诠释某样东西的都是些大话王才会做的事。我觉得，这是很不健康的现象，所以，我也以华人身份留了言，向马来同胞们说为什么我们大多数的华人都拒绝与马来人通婚。以下就是我的留言，一字不改，一字不删。虽然有些长气，但，华人的文化不是一两篇评论就可道完的，我希望你看完，然后下一次你可以好好应对你的异族朋友，尤其是马来朋友。

I see many misundertood Chinese, let me tell you the real Chinese view on this issue. In general, 95% of Chinese do not encourage to have marriage that will force them to convert. There are few reasons for this.

First, Chinese has 5000+ years of culture, we have a very complete structure that form the culture, and so most Chinese are deeply influenced. Just one example, the Chinese name, every single character has meaning, and the good thing for us is, the naming involves no religious element at all, and because naming uniquely identify the person, so 100% Chinese will have a very important name, the family name. No other culture in this world will look so serious to naming like Chinese. Some parent has very rigid rules in selecting a name for children, like the name must match with the birth date, the element the baby is tied to (金、木、水、火、土）, etc. So, asking us to change our name to Abdullah or Muhammad does not make sense to us at all.

Second, like I said, the 5000+ years of culture formed a very complete system, we even have our unique system on how to respect our parent, it is 孝. Study deep into it, this is not the respect to parent that other race can understand easily, 孝，involves more. Changing the name that is given by our parent, this is 不孝, means you are betraying your parent, and so your family and ancestors.

Then, we are given freedom in religion since young, we feel rediculous if we are forced to believe in something we don't wish. Yes, you may say how superb your religion is, but watch out, we have 5000+ years of complete system and knowledge, we are no worse than your religion teaching, we have Lao Tzu, Confucius, Mencius and many more.

Now, if we convert, are we Chinese or Malay? In Malaysia, like it or not, if you convert, most people will identify you as Malay, the ultimate concern is, our children is deemed as Malay, even though the father is Chinese. This is something not so cool for Chinese. Yes, you can argue that your religion does not force this and that, but back to reality, give me one example to convince to everyone here that this doesn't happen in Malaysia. Our ex PM is a Hainanese descendant, but did he claim himself as Chinese (whether this is true or not we can't know anymore)? Same like importance of name mentioned above, changing the race means betraying parent, family and ancestors too. In Malay, it is almost equivalent like Kurang Ajar, and even more severe. You see, this is what most Chinese are concerning with.

We do not discourage cross race marriage, but we do concern on our identity, The Descendant of Dragon, 龙的传人。

Spread to your non Chinese friends, this is the ultimate truth of Chinese.